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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?